Sunday, October 18, 2009

All you people are vampires..

All you people are vampires
All your stories are stale
Though you pretend to stand by us
Though you're certain we'll fail
"Perhaps Vampires is a Bit Strong, But..."
by Arctic Monkeys

This song describes perfectly the people who seem to think it's their job to bring you down to earth. Why can't people keep their mouths shut when they don't have faith in somebody? Unless they're trying to protect someone who's delusional about their level of talent, they should be supportive of anyone who tries to follow their dreams.

I hate reality-checks. Many times I've told people, "I want to be an author," and they reply, "Do you know how hard it is to be published?" Does anybody not know?! I'm not in kindergarten, I don't want to be a princess or a ballerina. I know it's hard, you don't have to tell me. Just because it's hard doesn't mean I shouldn't try. I've tried to convince myself it wasn't that important to me, but everything else seems pointless in comparison.

My family is full of vampires. At Christmas time, I don't bother to tell them anymore that I'm still trying to be a writer. I don't want to hear them laugh. If they've never read anything I've written, how can they decide whether or not they think it's a bad idea? They probably just think of me as the weird little girl who turned into a freakish teenager, and then into.. Who knows what they think of me now? Probably not much, as I don't have anything to show for my life. I don't have a house, I'm not married, I don't have a job, I'm not pregnant. I don't have most of the badges and medals and stripes with which society measures success. Not to say those things aren't important to me, but they're not as important as achieving my dream of being published.

Why is their support so important to me? Human-nature, I guess. If I was a different kind of person, one who liked being told they couldn't do something and saw it as a challenge, I'd probably have done something I could be proud of by now. Unfortunately, I care too much about the opinions of others. I won't change what I'm doing for them if I don't think it's right, but I need their opinions and appreciation. I don't get feedback like that from my family now, and maybe I never will, but I hope some Christmas I'll be able to say, "I AM an author."

1 comment:

  1. Aside from talent, I would say that the most important characteristic in an aspiring author is the ability to ignore anyone who tells you that you can't do it.