Friday, April 30, 2010

Sometimes I worry about the future of humanity...

... And then I go into the "Ladies" room at my college, and I read, written on the feminine product disposal box, "I eat period blood." And the response, "Whoever wrote this is a fag." And I realize we'll all be dead soon, and everything will be okay.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Taste in men

Ain't he just adorable?






Too bad he's 10 years older than me, a racist, and a murderer.






I can't help who I'm attracted to. I've probably had some of the weirdest crushes. Charlie Chaplin and Varg Vikernes (that guy in the pix above) are probably the weirdest. I still think Marlon Brando is hot in a Streetcar Named Desire, and there are several guys who I wouldn't kick out of bed for being covered in fake blood.. Real blood is a different story. Actually, a lot of the guys I have crushes on, I wouldn't like in real life. My own taste confuses me because I don't have a "type". Here are some more pictures of guys I like (I tried to put them in chronological order).



Eric von Detten (actor) was my first crush, then Leonardo Di Caprio, and Daniel Johns from Silverchair- I became a vegetarian because of him.



Givanni Ribisi and Sam Rockwell (Actors).. Just noticed a lot of them have Italian names.



Meegs Rascon (guitarist of Coal Chamber). Charlie Chapin- cute underneath that mustache, first dead guy I ever had a crush on. Brian Molko from Placebo- made me like bisexual men.




Danzig (Musician), Rory Cochrane. Till Lindemann (singer of Rammstein)- Fist guy I had a crush on who I thought might be completely insane, and disgusted me a little.. Surprisingly, Marilyn Manson didn't, I also had a crush on him but don't feel like putting up a pic. You know what he looks like.



Meg and Jack White from the White Stripes (yep, both of them. I have some more girl crushes but won't go into them now). Chris Jericho (Wrestler. Go ahead, laugh.) Maynard James Keenan (singer of Tool. Weird as hell. Made me want to try hallucinogenic drugs some day- but not anytime soon).



Eddie Izzard, Russell Brand, Noel Fielding (stylish English comedians. Eddie is a crossdresser.. Kinda into that.)


Ville Valo (singer of HIM. Got me into Finnish music, for which I'm eternally gratefull). Marlon Brando.. Why did he have to get fat and people make fun of him? Sad..



Frost (drummer of Satyricon. Real name Kjetil Haraldstad- awesomely impossible to pronounce for an English speaker). Ogre from Skinny Puppy (He's a nice guy, don't judge him by the fake blood).



My boyfriend David! I love him, and he lets me play with his hair. :)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Friend?

There's someone I hate and love, I'll call her A. If you're reading this, it should be glaringly obvious that I mean you. Once I didn't talk to her for a year because we got into a fight that started because I was tired of being ignored. It's pathetic that I still like her and I want to call her my friend, but I'm not convinced she deserves that title. The last time I saw her was December. She doesen't live here, so it's understandable that she wouldn't think of me as much as people with whom she has more contact. But still. December? The last time I talked to her, she was planning on moving somewhere even farther away from me than she lives now. She had a lot of shit to worry about, and I'm sure she has even more now. We used to talk about our shit together, but it's been a long time since then. A LONG long time. She used to be so important to me, she helped me though depression, and I tried to help her. I don't know if she's depressed now, I don't know anything. She used to have a blog on Livejournal, but she hasn't written anything in it since October. Before that, she wrote a lot, it's weird that she stopped so suddenly. We're "friends" on Myspace. I've sent a few messages to her with that, I've tried e-mailing her, and sent a text- all were ignored or unread. I try not to sound needy, and I don't want to smother her with my once every two months attempts to contact her. It should be clear to me that she doesn't give a fuck, but she's done this before, and convinced me that she does. Is she punishing me for something I didn't know I did?

The light's on in the other room. I didn't want to spend this much time on the computer, but she pulled me in like years ago, when we would talk online until three or four AM. So long ago, it feels like another lifetime. I know we've changed and moved on, but I still want her in my life.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Laguna Beach (Mis)adventure.

Some cool stuff has happend lately, I consider even the "bad" stuff to be cool in a way because it's better than being bored. I just got back from a three-day vacation to Laguna Beach with my parents. It was for their 25th anniversary, but they wanted me to come too because I guess they love me or something :) My boyfriend David stayed at our house while we were gone to keep the dogs company. I wanted to invite him too, but our dogs get depressed when they're alone for too long, and we would've had to get a bigger hotel room and bla bla bla. We stayed in a beautiful place called the Aliso Creek Inn. By the name, you might have gathered that it was near a creek, and you would be right. Our hotel room was just across from the creek which wound through bright green hills. It felt remote even though it was a two minute drive to the busy Pacific Coast Highway.
Our room was more like a cabin.


Laguna Beach was a cool place because the town was crowded along the coastline, and the hills beyond it were mostly preserved in their natural state because it's protected land.


It's about an hour and a half drive from my house, which is not bad in my opinion. But, for reasons which I will explain later, we had to make the roundtrip drive twice in the span of three days.
The first day we went shopping, and didn't buy anything- miracle of miracles!
I thought this was a cool looking building, across from the place where they have the Festival of the Masters (a festival where people build sets and pose to look like famous works or art). On the hill next to it was a tiny light-house looking thing. If anybody thinks they know what the hell that was for, please enlighten me.
This is where we ate lunch on the first day.

On the second day, we ate a delicious breakfast at a place called the Greeter. Then looked at a few shops and went for a short walk on the beach.
These pictures of my parents illustrate how much like a little boy my Dad is. I told my parents to pose and pretend like they love eachother. He hates cheesy shit like that.
I like this picture of a guy walking a pitbull and a Yorkshire terrior. Which one do you think belongs to his girlfriend?

We went to a nature center and hiked through the mountains and along a beautiful lake.
In the last picture, you can see a lot jet-trails scarring the sky. It was a reminder that even though we were in the wild, civilization wasn't far away. Plus you could hear the freeway.
I took these pictures as an old couple passed us on the trail, and my parents kept walking. It was like looking into the future.
In the middle of this pic is a California quail sitting on a post.
It was only 12:00 or 1PM after our hike- sometimes I don't even wake up until that late, but I wasn't tired because we were doing fun stuff. I feel sorry for my Dad, though, because there was some sort of confusion at his work and people kept calling him. He also wanted to play golf and ride his bike, but the course was closed, and when he'd gone out to ride in the morning, it was freezing cold, so he had to cut it short. He was stuck with us. :) My mom and I wanted to go to a modern art museum, and he grudginly came along. It was hillarious because the first thing we saw when we went into the museum was a photo of two guys wrestling, naked. Ah, the arts...
After the museum, we walked along the coast some more.
In the last pic are some girls on the beach taking a picture of a message they wrote in the sand that says "Happy B-day Yutis" (I think that's what it says, I've never heard that name before). I dunno why, but I like the idea of taking picture of people taking a picture, and them not knowing about it. It's the same kind of acceptable spying as Facebook and Myspace. Don't worry, I'm not into actual spying- that's disgusting.
This was a weird sculpture. What do you thnk it looks like? My mom says a flamingo, and David thinks it looks like a fairy-comet falling to the earth.. :)
I was tired when we got back to our hotel, but I resisted the urge to nap and practiced my guitar instead. After that we went to the pool, the water was cold but it felt good. My dad and I played ping-pong by the pool until both balls rolled away under a fence. I read a book called Mexican Whiteboy- I'll explain the significance of that later. We went out to dinner at an Italian restaurant, where the waiter was a muscular, somewhat intimadating man who spoke with an accent. The restaurant had a fireplace in the middle where they baked. We had something I'd never heard of before, I think it was called Timboli, which was pasta and vegetables baked into a flaky crust. It was some of the best Italian food I've ever had. That was another cool thing about Laguna beach- everywhere we ate was good.
This was a creepy building across from the restaurant. I think it's mysterious.

Back at the hotel at about 10:00 PM, my mom and I were reading. She wanted to go to bed soon, but I wasn't feeling that tired. My phone rang, and I figured it was David. I was right, and could tell by his voice that something was wrong. He told me he'd lost his keys at work, and our house-key was on them. Oh shit. He said he'd looked everywhere and asked everyone in the store if they'd seen them, but no luck. Usually my friend Kristin who lives down the street has an extra key, but a few months earlier I'd taken them and not given them back. It was because my parents were asleep in the back bedroom and David and I rang the doorbell and called their cellphones and the house phone, but no answer. I left messages on their cellphones, but not the house phone. My mom said I should have left one on the house phone because she would have heard the answering machine. The reason why I didn't have a house-key was because I didn't bring one because my mom and I had gone out together to see Shutter Island, and I figured we'd come home together, so I wouldn't need it. We met David at the theater, and after the movie I went mini-golfing with him. When my parents didn't answer, we went to Kristin's house to get the key, and I never remembered to give it back. So all this trouble came from one stupid decision not to bring my keys.
My mom and I thought about calling a locksmith to open the door, but we figured they probably wouldn't open it without us there. The dogs had been inside since David left for work at 4:45 PM, and we didn't want them to go to the bathroom in the house- especailly since the girl, Mojo is old. Plus they needed to be fed in the morning. We decided it would be best if we drove home to open the house ourselves. I wasn't that tired anyway. I wasn't that bothered by the situation because I'd had a good day, and lately I've realized that a lot of bad things become funny in time. Bad or good, it's all experience, which makes you a more mature and unique human being.
My mom and I felt really bad for David, though. None of us were mad at him, especially not me, because I've done similar things- like forget the tickets to a concert. It was annoying, but not as bad as it could have been- at least we were somewhere where we could drive home in less than 2 hours. It actually only took an hour and 20 minutes because there wasn't much traffic.
In the morning, we drove back to Laguna because my Dad was still there and we still wanted to spend more time there. But when we got there, it was drizzling and a lot of the shops were closed. I didn't mind because it was beautiful and we ate another awesome breakfast at the Greeter, and I slept on the way home.